“I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful. I know that full well.” ~Psalm 139:15
I was born and raised here in Los Angeles, where my dad was a television writer and producer. I remember all the cancelled vacations, as well as long days and sometimes months that my dad wasn’t home. I even recall overhearing my parent’s arguments at nights when I was supposed to be asleep. . As a result, I began to blame “Hollywood” for the toll it was taking on our family. My plan after graduation was to move to Oregon and become a music teacher and never live in Los Angeles again.
Looking back, I don’t remember praying and asking God about my plan – I just jumped into it assuming I knew myself well enough to decide my own future. It was three years into my music degree that I began questioning, “Am I doing the right thing? Am I on the right path?” And I began to feel God pointing me in a different direction.
This crushed me. Music education was my identity. I had always loved teaching music, and had been told that I had a lot of potential as a music educator. So, with some resentment, I took the first courageous step to drop the “education” part of my major and finish off a much less demanding general music degree.
I suddenly had more time to explore other interests so I quickly joined the student leadership team of my college Christian fellowship. Being on this close-knit team, I learned how to read the Bible, developed an incredible love for and reliance on prayer, and ultimately tuned in to hearing God’s voice. For the first time, I was becoming someone who could say yes to Jesus every time He called me.
About halfway through my senior year, my mom told me that a family friend of ours in LA, Karen Covell, was looking for a new employee for her ministry Hollywood Prayer Network. Now, just to make the irony clear, one thing I had definitely never done in my life was pray for Hollywood. So I took a few months to think, talk, and pray about it. Through my prayers, I felt like Jesus was telling me there was no way I could avoid this call. He was telling me to go. He was challenging me to go back to LA and serve his people in Hollywood.
Psalm 139 reminds us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made by our Creator. In this process, God was encouraging me to let go of the image I had created for myself. Learning to rely on God’s image of who I am allowed me to courageously give up my self-made path for His perfect plan.
As I now serve in Hollywood ministry, God continues to teach me more every day about courage. I have learned that God often gives me smaller things along the way so that when it comes time for bigger risks, I am so used to trusting and taking leaps of courage that I am ready to take on a bigger challenge. It took courage for me to give up my path and accept God’s. And now I can see that it was Jesus who was giving me courage during these moments of small yes’s, proving over and over that trusting Him in my weakness is courageous.
Where do you need God’s courage this week?
How will you trust God’s plan instead of your own?